Your Wild Clan: How to Find Them and Why You Need Each Other. By Deborah Willimott

Wise, wild women have forgotten that sisterhood is one of our greatest resources.

We are encouraged by family (often) and society (regularly) that the only person to rely on is the self. The ability to manage alone is a sign of power and maturity.

Our ‘community’ has dwindled to the people of our household. Where once our support group was a village of maybe thirty, forty or eighty people, it is now perhaps one or two other people.

You know when you meet one of your clan. There is that immediate recognition, a fraternal ‘a-ha!’ a shared smile, a common passion; one stoking the fire of the other.

These are the jewels of our existence because here are the women that resource us. As they go through their lives trying to grow, what they are doing grows us too – and vice versa.

Seek these connections. Pay attention. When we are resourced by a clan, we are greater than ourselves alone and can reach further.

Sometimes, we do not like these women the first time we meet and it can be tempting to retreat to what and who we know we like and maybe even do these women down.

Women have for centuries understood the power of collaboration and women are particularly good at it. Yet it is tempting to rely on oneself because often it involves less mess, hassle and management of other people’s bothersome baggage.

But what is central to women’s collaborative success is cultivating an ability to stand in our own power within a group of other powerful women. This is where our greatest resource lies – but often, also the greatest difficulties.

Is it not true that when surrounded by empowered women, we can sometimes be annoyed by their outspokenness? Their driven nature or ‘pushiness’? Their demands on our attention? Are we not tempted to gossip to others about how FUCKING IRRITATING THEY ARE?

Wise Wild women get over that shit as quickly as possible because it is something that inevitably leads to division which inevitablykeeps us from our wildest self. 

(Which in turn keeps us quiet, uncreative and stuck in patterns of bitterness and limitation.)

Finding your clan of empowered women who are all committed to exploring their wild nature, will, by its very energy, inevitably include women that do your head in. Some schools of thought suggest that it’s because these women represent the aspects of ourselves that we haven’t yet integrated – that’s why we either admire or hate them. And so in order to help us welcome them as parts of the self, nature cleverly allows us to iron out the difficulties externally. 

Whether that story appeals to you or not, if a woman drives you nuts but you are fascinated by her, be courageous and find out why. It is in exploring the ‘why’ that doors within ourselves to our own shape of wild start to open. Agree first to be civil and then tell her she’s driving you mad. Let her tell you that you’re driving her mad. Stop caring about that and see what you both need.

Tell her she’s powerful. Really take it in when she tells you that you are. 

When it’s hard, remember:

Like you she has been squashed and quieted.

Like you, she is just trying to grow.

Like you, she is just trying to reach her wild.

Love or hate your clan sister, be respectful and congenial. She will help you down into the dark as you seek your wild shape. She will wave from the precipice, shout encouragement from the sidelines, or drive you to change with her frustrating obstinacy. And in doing the same for her you connect even further to your wild shape.

When wild women are united in a common goal, anything can be overcome. Overall, make your intention clear: to magnetize your clan, whatever the shape of their wild selves. 

The earth alone doesn’t grow the forest. It is the collaboration of sun and rain, seed and plant, time and most of all, powerful, focused intent that allows wildness to truly flourish and thrive.

Love, Deborah

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Deborah Willimott (pictured here on the right!) is passionate about embodiment and helping women reconnect and stay aligned with their Wild Woman potency. She'll be bringing her wisdom, warmth and vitality as Co-Leader of our Wild Women Do Retreat in Marrakech

Deborah is also the Founder of The Body Hive, is a respected Hatha and Vinyasa Yoga Teacher, is training as an Open Floor Movement Practitioner, and skillfully works with open floor principles.

She's also an internationally published Freelance Journalist and Writer, and the Editorial Director of the First Women photography project, a unique collection of 100 portraits capturing women in the UK who were “first” in their field of achievement.

If you liked this piece, read her post on What's Your Version of a Wild Woman?

Marie Milligan

Marie Milligan, Painted Lady Canalboat, Blomfield Road Moorings, Little Venice, London, UK

I'm the Founder of Wild Women Do, a coaching network and movement for creative, entrepreneurial women needing support to create and launch something inspirational. A Holistic Business Coach, Entrepreneurship Educator and Writer, I love nothing better than helping you release your creative spirit, and get your ideas expressed and done.