Reconnecting With Your Wild Child


When I was a young child, about 4 or 5 in this photo, I was wild, creative, curious, playful, determined, fearless, stubborn, adventurous, naughty, smart, and loving. 

I hadn’t yet taken in influence into my belief system about my sense of self or my worth. It wasn’t until a few years later, that my outward persona started to change: I seemed serious, solemn, quiet, hard-working, sensible, rebellious, resistant, cautious, anxious and often, afraid. 

As I passed into my teens, I was called stuck-up, or selfish, because others mistook my withdrawn or resistant self as judging or self-centred. If only they’d known the secrets I was hiding, they’d have understood that I was still that fun-loving, wild and playful girl, but she was now more focused on protecting herself from further trauma, hurt or shame. 

I poured my feelings into my academic studies, reading voraciously and obsessing over my multi-instrumental music practice. It seemed I found a natural talent for all things creative, literature-based, historical and analytical, and did very well at school despite the traumas (it's amazing the power of getting lost in creativity or the arts of others when you want to hide from the truth of real life).

However, no matter the high results, I didn't believe in myself anymore and sometimes what other people close to me perceived as encouragement, served to only add to this limiting belief. “You only got 98%; what happened to the 2%?” I was once told. No wonder my perfectionist persona developed where I pushed myself daily to do well and be approved of.

Only years later, after training as a Coach, experiencing CBT therapy, and working with many clients with similar patterns, did I understand about our personas and the characters we play that represents a value we stand for or an intrinsic need. 

Throughout all of those times, my Wild Child was still there, still craving to be wild, free, adventurous, creative, playful and fun, but I simultaneously needed to feel safe, protected, secure and loved in order for that to happen. But, I didn't know how to give that to myself or to ask it of others in a calm way, that didn't lead to further misunderstanding or conflict.

I later learned at the age of 39 this year, that I also needed to know how to give those values to myself back then, so that I had the ability to ‘self-soothe’ and not rely on others to make me feel good or safe.

I've learned to understand that those that love us and try to protect us now or in our past are also working with their own psychology and physiology based on their own beliefs and needs and how they like to give you love and try to protect you, is not always a match for what you need.

Being able to have a 'non-violent communication' or conversation with someone about what you want or need or what you'd like to change can be life-changing.
What a difference that insight would have made back then. At least, it's making a difference to my life and relationships now, and to those clients I work with. 

Now, as an adult woman, I work 1-1 with my coaching clients on helping other women understand their version of a Wild Woman and how does that connect with their Wild Child self?

We look at the personas they play that they love or loathe and what values or needs do they have. We explore what influential voices or experiences started to form their limiting beliefs that later in life are in the way of their creative passions and their business success. 

When we start to reveal our characters and get to know them well, it is easier to rewrite our mind’s story of who we are now and then.

We are able to then rewrite our life and business script that finally gives us the permission to be our self (all parts), to love our selves, and to live and work in a way that feels true and fulfilling for us. 

If you are in any way feeling lost or questioning who you are and what you’re capable of, cast your mind back to who you were as a child before influence set in. Reconnect with your ‘wild child’ (who was free to a point). She has a lot of clues to guide you back in alignment with your creative 'Wild Woman' self.

If this post resonates with you, please feel free to comment below, share with a friend who might want to read it to, or email me if you wish. I’d love to hear your story and support you if you have a desire or need. You might also like to read my post on How to Find Your Wild Side..

Love, Marie

Copyright. If you share or copy this post to a third person, or online site (website or social media) you must fully credit author "Marie Milligan" and a link to this webpage. This includes quotes or social media reposts, use of quotes on images, or any auditory reference to the post. 

How to Find Your Wild Side

I was recently sent an email via this site from an inspiring woman named Megan Goudy, a student at a college in South Carolina, USA. She's taking a Women's Literature class and for her final project, she's chosen the topic of the Wild Woman after reading Women Who Run with the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. Her exploration is 'who they are, why they matter, and how to become one.'

She wrote to ask me,

What do you think is the single most important thing a woman can do to find her own wild side?
— Megan Goudy

Not only was I inspired by her topic but her willingness to connect and ask for my view. It actually struck a chord and rather than a one sentence response, I crafted this spontaneous blog post as my reply. As you can see, this topic is one close to my heart and what I stand for in Wild Women Do! If you've 10 minutes to spare, get yourself a cuppa and take a read. 


Her wild side was never lost, in order to be found, she simply needs to reconnect with it. A woman will find her wild side when she listens in. If she stops searching for it externally, she'll find that version of herself within. When she quietens her mind and reconnects with her whole body and soul, she will sense and feel who she is at her core.

As an adult Wild Woman, she will reconnect with her wild side when she gives herself permission to play again. Give herself time to discover, to explore all the characters and versions of herself. Also, travels outside her comfort zone, out in the wild world.

She will find her when she takes time for herself, does what feels good and nourishes her. When she embraces life and decides to be in the moment. Relishing and savouring it all. Letting go of stress, fear or worry.

She can only do that, guilt free, when she decides to love all versions of herself – the fearless and the frightened – and believe in herself and what she is capable of, no matter what limiting beliefs have formed along her life journey.

A woman will know she can and often does play many characters in her life stemming from her personality, but also influenced by who she is with, where she is, and how she is feeling at the time.

Her wild side is no doubt, the character that represents (at the times she plays her), the freer version of self, the woman who is courageous, bold, brave, daring, strong, resilient, and allows herself to take risks. She champions her values of independence, freedom, courage, creativity, curiosity, fun, joy, exploration, discovery and truth.

She will recognise her wild side, as the part of herself that shares the values that were perhaps true for her as a young child before any influence got in the way. As a child, she would have (we hope) embraced these values and explored and played with abandon because she was fearless, she was light, and most of all, she was self-loving. She didn't yet know any other way to be or feel.

If she acted in a way that was non-conformist, she might have found she was labelled “naughty” or “disobedient”, or a "wild child”; wild representing the value of rebellious or disrespectful here. In fact, she was representing her version of freedom, independence, courage, resilience, curiosity, creativity, fun, bravery, and so, on.

As she grew, she listened to views or opinions of others and started to form beliefs about herself, whether truth or a perspective. She was taught how she must live or what she must do to belong (or in most instances, to be ‘kept safe’ and conform). She made a decision how to be and how to act based on the belief system she accepted as ‘truth’.

This catalyst point in her self-development may have lead to the wilder, more authentic version of herself being tamed down, quietened or hidden in some way. She somehow found herself living a life less colourful, confined by social or familial boundaries. Until the moment she has an awakening.

In my experience, at the extreme cases, it’s often at a break-down or traumatic time where the pain of not loving yourself or the life you’re performing becomes unbearable. You know change must happen or you feel your will to live or your wild soul will die.

There’ll be that moment she says, ‘times up’ on self-doubt, on hiding by playing a passive character in a life she doesn’t want, directed by someone else’s vision or rules.

She will feel awakened that she must seek out her truth and see the world with a fresh perspective.

She will decide "enough is enough" and take a course of development to realign to her true self, and the life and career path she always wanted.

When ready, she will once again, know who she is and trust she can "take a walk on the wild side” without losing stability or respectability. Quite the opposite.

When a woman finds her wild side, reconnects with her Wild Woman and walks her truth, she is an example of a woman who is loving and is living without regret.

What in the world might be different then?

What is the single most important thing a woman can do to find her wild side? Megan and I would love to hear your thoughts below.

Love, Marie 


Copyright. If you share or copy this post to a third person, or online site (website or social media) you must fully credit author "Marie Milligan" and a link to this webpage. This includes quotes or social media reposts, use of quotes on images, or any auditory reference to the post.